Black Triangle (curse of the black triangle) Cock (17th/18th Century English and African-American slang in 19th to mid-20th century) Cockle (similar to clam) Clit (the clit is actually separate from the vagina) FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area) Front-Butt (aka Front Bum) Furry Cup (drinking from the furry cup) Ham wallet (honey-glazed or otherwise) Peggy's Parlor (dated)Zach Nance Mag Pianola (German between WWI and WWII) The Great Australian Bight The Great Depression (dated, but relevant)Of that we can all agree. Vagina is a rubbish word for vagina. Of that we can also agree. Thankfully, there are over 9,000 alternative words out there – some awesome, some disgusting and some downright hilarious. I’ve selflessly curated the best epithets, so you can thank your doctor for removing that Sharpie from your vajayjay – without having to refer to it as a tuna taco. Yeah, we went there Because this is a semi-SFW blog (if you’ll excuse the fucking language and the obsession with tits & vag), I’ll refrain from illustrating the sort of pussies these terms elicit.

You’ll just have to use your imagination, or if that fails, turn off safe search and Google gaping vagina. That should keep you entertained while you’re eating lunch.the torn curtain greenville sc This isn’t an exhaustive list by the way – I’ve missed out some of the duller names, like box and beaver. pencil pleat curtains 300cmAlthough now that I’ve mentioned them, I guess they haven’t been omitted after all. kohls magnetic curtain rodAnyway, moving on before my tiny brain explodes…pvc strip curtains christchurch Let’s talk about lady bitsthe mentalist season 5 behind the red curtain cast

There’s a time and a place for deploying these euphemisms – or most of them at least. Halting foreplay to ask if you can slip it in her wizard’s sleeve is gonna get you instantly blue-balled. walmart traverse curtain rodsThat said, no one ever dunked it in a prostitute’s vajayjay – it’s cock pocket or stench trench all the way. zebra jacquard grommet room darkening curtainContext is important when dealing with vaginas. And that’s what this erudite blog is all about – context and vocabulary. OK, so it’s actually about vaginas. Nice words for vagina Nasty words for vagina Before anyone gets butthurt, I’ll concede that most of these words aren’t Scottish – but you’re more likely to hear them uttered roon these parts than anywhere else in the world.

It should be noted that Scotland is possibly the only country where you’ll hear the term cunt used as a term of endearment rather than as a crude word for vagoo. Because we’re a nation of good cunts of course. For added pleasure, listen to Scotland’s Zambian Astronaut as you read on. There’s something soothing about this track that eases the sight of the most horrific vagina names ever conjured. Spanish names for vagina ★ Badly packed kebab Words for vagina in the bedroomCall it anything else during sex and you’ll instantly kill the vibe. Makes it kind of awkward when a girl’s screaming ‘Talk dirty to me!’ but you’ve expended your three designated words in the first sentence. Words that no one uses IRL ★ French fry dip ★ Penis fly trap ★ Cave of wonders Words that no one uses IRL but should Kid-friendly words for vagina Before you raise several eyebrows and report me to the internet police, I should clarify that there’s a genuine (i.e. non-sexualised) reason for including this section.

If you’ve got kids, how do you politely refer to their V-A-G-I-N-A without calling it a V-A-G-I-N-A? Vagina is a stupid word at the best of times; having it shouted by a three-year-old can only add to its unutterable weirdness. So what can kids call it instead? The options are woeful, but they would appear to be as follows: Told you they were pretty bad – but still better than vagina, it must be said. Words for a slack vagina ★  Chasm of doom ★  The grandest canyon Words for an outie vagina Girlie words for vagina This section was written in conjunction with the women I know well enough to quiz about their private parts. And before you ask, no, my mum wasn’t one of them. Though I did ask yours. ★  Nun / Nuun (from TOWIE apparently) ★  Vajayjay (Oprah uses it at least. I can’t speak on behalf of the rest of womankind.) Above: lower nectarostoma, viewed under an electron microscope. But you assumed that already.

When it comes to naming their lady gardens, girls are disappointingly tame. I don’t know who invented fur burger, but I’ll bet it wasn’t a woman.Take It Off: 50 Great Names for 'Vagina' That Are Better Than 'P****' We're going in on this one like a b***h! WARNING: creative and explicit words ahead. Vaginas are pretty spectacular gems. That's a universal truth that both women and men can all agree on. 'Vagina' though, is kind of an unspectacular word for vagina. Another universal truth that both women and men can probably all agree on. A slang word that has recently received quite a bit of attention in recent weeks. Here to give honor back to the magical wizards beneath our skirts, 50 nice alternative to "vajayjay", 'tuna taco" and "pussy" that will do your honey pot justice and where to say them, including when you're in the locker room. If you're alright with your sexy time turning into a laugh fest, go for: ★ Mound of Venus ★ Cave of Wonders

Only if you do not want to be taken seriously. ★ Chasm of doom NOTE: Use these carefully, periods can be miserable but are meant to be respected ★ Sexual Destination * ★ Wizard’s Sleeve * ★ Cum Bucket * ★ The Grandest Canyon * ★ Penis Fly Trap * ★ Baby Cannon * ★ Pink Canoe * ★ Red Lobster * ★ Fur Burger * ★ Downstairs Retreat * ★ Sugar Walls * ★ Beach Blossom * NOTE: If you cannot use any of these words in a responsible and respectful way none of these including "pussy" or "vagina" get to touch your lips. ★ French Fry Dip And people, if you still, STILL cannot find another word for "vagina" or pussy, go for one of these. bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, punani, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, love canal, flower, nana, cat, catcher's mitt, muff, roast beef curtains, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound

, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard's sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, cock pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet.

Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken's tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog's mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe

, flesh tuxedo, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man's charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil's hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt

, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., stench trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian's daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian's temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.'s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal